TheConciseMindsEye is a collection of ramblings written by a female insomniac. This blog covers a plethora of different topics, and these scribbles are terribly interesting and engaging. So go read, immerse yourself and enjoy...
This is a photo I captured on our flight from Oahu to Maui!! What A beautiful sight. Hawaii is breathtakingly beautiful! Peering out toward the water, from any patch of land on this rock is captivating. There is no place on earth where you can feel this way! Such an experience. My love brought me to Hawaii, but Hawaii brought me to the meaning of that love.
She knew he would only stay for one night. But that was enough for her. She never really felt normal enough to keep him anyway. As he dressed to leave with the first light, she thought to herself “he didn’t even look back” and with those words went his space in her life!
Today I put on makeup for the first time in a very, very long time. I started, didn’t like it, then wiped it off. Eventually, I started again. This time I was right on the money. This is how we should view the way we do most things in life. Who says that we have to be perfect the first time to be great at anything? On the first try, no warm-ups are always pretty awesome. When you can do something flawlessly on your first try, those moments are like magic. But there is just something different about watching something progress, grow, and flourish into something great with endurance and perseverance over time. It’s so rewarding to know that you as a human will keep going no matter what life has stacked against you. Never let your mind’s eye be heavily trafficked by the doubtful thoughts of not feeling adequate. Just get up and try again and I know you will surprise yourself. May we always know when we need to regain our footing and start again? May we always have the courage to start fresh when everything seems just out of reach!
I think my faith is misunderstood. I think that my faith is misleading in a way that people close to me can’t understand where it came from. And I can meet them there in that thought because I have not always been the easiest person. At times I was temperamental, judgmental, and rude. But I’m not that girl anymore I have grown up and grown out of that isolated way of thinking. The selfish way of responding to situations is mostly gone now. I’m not perfect so I’m sure I’ll make mistakes along my way but for the most part, I live peacefully. Because I refuse to judge others or to let judgment push my mind into situations, I don’t really want to be in. I make an active choice to open my mind always when I’m making decisions. Especially! when those decisions and conversations are to be had with my son in mind. I’m not a perfect lady. But I feel like being aware of myself and my limitations, planning goals for my future, and reminding myself that there is always a little human watching me, has, in fact, made me a better person. I have learned to take my own inventory, but not the inventory of others. Believe me, I still have those judgmental thoughts, oh Yes! I just choose to keep them to myself and to spread a better future for my son, instead of trash like my younger self. Another thing I’ve learned in this life is that you should treat all others as good as you treat yourself or BETTER because that’s how you keep your friendships, that’s how you build those righteous relationships. So to me, my faith is no mystery. I have grown into it as I’m growing into better thoughts, better actions, for better reasons. I think at 35, I’m learning pretty quick. I know the person that I want to be! The lifestyle I want to represent! The wife and mother I am and “Most of all” I know I am a child of God like I’m supposed to be. I learned most of what I know from my aunts and my beautiful mother! Those women have dealt with so much, given it up so much, and sacrificed even more than that. I say sacrificed with the most understanding behind it because that’s exactly what it was. I am lucky, not blessed to have the family that I have! My aunts and my mom would do anything for me, and have in fact at times given up things to protect me! I have had the opportunity to watch them as guardians and as grandparents, and I’ve gotten to take from their life to build mine. They taught their children through their strengths and their weaknesses, using themselves as examples at times. As any good parent should because as humans were not expected to be perfect we’re supposed to react as perfectly as possible. so I have respect for their strength, I have a love for their giving nature, and I am most proud of their perseverance! Thank you for always being there to fight with us and for us! I love you guys more than u will ever know!
Some days I feel sad, beaten, and bruised from what others say and do in my direction. My heart hangs heavy for a bit and I might even cry! I do this alone in silence so that my son isn’t affected by a weakened mother. I always want him to see me as a fierce force. I always want him to feel like harm could never touch him. Of course like all good mothers I caution him against things I’ve learned from my experiences and things that my parents taught me to be cautious against. But like all human beings, some days just get to me. I don’t like to sit my value upon other people’s views or thoughts of me. I know inside that I am strong and beautiful but some days my ears can’t block my heart from hearing the sounds of destruction. Created by miserable people that refuse to see the beauty in anything. I will not run and hide I will not let them win I will not let my son see the hurt and I will not partake in the abuse of others. Because As we all know we are all responsible for our actions and our actions define our character. The actions of others towards you though, speak only of their character. So even though some days I feel broken and bruised from what others say and do in my direction. That is only a feeling, for I am not truly broken or bruised. I am the reflection of myself in my son’s eyes and for him, I will always be strong and beautiful.
Just so you know. I can hear the whispers far before the sound of you all hushing yourselves. Think BEFORE YOU SPEAK! You are kind if you choose to be. We are all human, Indeed we all have ugly thoughts. That is just the balance for all the beauty in this world! What do you choose to do with those thoughts? That is the true deciding factor. It’s simple Be nice! The man in the mirror type stuff! Thank you, MJ for that.
Sometimes, you can speak about marriage using a generic definition. But most of the time life is hectic and ever-changing. Among the whirlwind of change, there will be transitional moments. These moments are of the upmost importance in a truly strong marriage. Transitional moments are the ones that create the longest-lasting impact. This impact will either bring closeness or it will create a cold distance. When a partner shows selflessness, non judgement or intimacy in any form, it’s a transitional moment for the relationship. Those are the beautiful moments! Keep those moments tucked safely in your soul. On the other hand there are situations when you may have thought you were in a relationship, but really you were just with a partner that was lying, cheating, stealing trust, creating anxiety and self-consciousness. Those are the situations the steal the light. They take the twinkle out of your spirit and the brightness out of your existence. In will creep the mistrust and it’s twin sister misery, if you let them. It’s the relationships filled with support and encouragement that make all the unworthy ones worth it, I know. When a human being doesn’t have to benefit, understand, or be in charge of the situation, and still chooses to love unconditionally. It reinforces the relationship in the best of ways. Try to be selfless in all you do and put your loves needs first at times even above your own, and you will know too.
Also try to remember that sometimes when a tactic is effective in a friend’s marriage, even if it’s in a great way. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it will have the same effect on your marriage. As humans, we are as unique as our fingerprints. So be slow to react and fast to be intimate in hard times, because that’s when it matters most.
To stretch this idea, as far as it’ll go, I also want to touch base on the notion that it is a part of the thrill in a marriage to have two people in a relationship that might not always see eye to eye. They can be different in their decisions, desires, needs, and views. But in ways we can not see with our eyes they are very much alike. Truly each one of us has many mental facets being so extraordinary in range. With the right insight, you could have an interest that you didn’t even know interested you. Let your partner take you on that ride and see if you find your heart’s song! You will never know until you try!
Really, there isn’t a definite definition that clearly defines the real meaning of marriage. Simply put it is like a feeling, never felt before, unmatched, uncharted, hard to get your bearings kind of adventure. Some of us humans spend years and years trying to figure each other out. Just to land our feet firmly on that path of righteousness. But the truth is no marriage can be conquered! No! it’s much more like studying a particular human being for the rest of all time. Bring infatuated by learning what makes that particular person happy. Always helping them on their path to finding the joy inside their understanding of you. All while learning that struggles will come with all relationships, not just the current one. It’s the being able to show your true colors and be excepted, loved, and honored even with fallacies. That is what sets us apart from most other creatures. Being able to communicate your desire to love that person even though you don’t always agree with all their ideas and thought patterns. Don’t limit your marriage to a generic definition, don’t put it inside of a box and place a lid overtop. Expecting your marriage to survive with no air, is suffocating, to say the least. Once you find that person that captures your intrigue and adds water to the garden of your life. From then on block out the rest of the world and make that person your purpose. Pray to God that you stay righteous and that your particular human does too!
Louisiana is by far the most intriguing of places. There is a sex appeal that lives there by nature. Maybe it’s the the Nola vibe that lowers the inhabitants’ need to go along with the rules of the world. But I love its rare individualism. Every other building dipped in what looks like black lace, sets the mood for enchantment. I find that my inner Mother Nature as a woman being awakened by the luscious foliage dripped off the balconies. She seems to be in youth with her historically famous buildings all filled with patrons. The total gathered simply to enjoy each other’s company. I find myself longing to set up shop here in this euphoria. You know, to carve out my little piece of happiness right there in the French quarter. Yes I could reside in the excitement on bourbon street.
I would like to dedicate this piece to a very beautiful friend of mine Candace Nichols. She is amazingly vibrant, intelligent, And full of that Nola enchantment. To top it off a grade A boy mom!! Love you, lady!
Leaving this place that birthed me, isn’t easy. This is my home, my comfort, where my purpose was born and so far is where he has been raised. Sometimes it’s exciting to imagine me in a new environment. But then I think of the tiny face of my goddaughter growing older and not being there to be right there. It just kills me. Theia sissy’s heart has always belonged to you and my son. I will love you deeply, even though it will be from afar! I know I have told your mommy this too but the truth is there is nothing not in this life or in the next that could ever keep my heart from yours! I have loved u from your first breath and as long as I breathe I will use it to tell you how much better my life is bc u are my goddaughter! I love u so much that no time-space or distance will ever be able to steal that from us!
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